The Value of Lifestyle
I’ve been thinking a lot about values recently. What are my values? And how do they influence my behavior, the decisions I make? The way it’s been explained to me is that our values are the essence of self – when one is acting out their values, there is an alignment with thoughts, behaviors, and beliefs.
Ever laid your head down on the pillow at night and thought, “Yeah. Today was a tough day, but I did a good job of navigating the difficult moments.” Like when you got really upset with your partner but, instead of snapping at them, you took a deep breath and stayed in the conversation. That sounds like a day of acting out your values. I bet you slept pretty well that night.
What about the nights where you stare at the ceiling and replay the moments where you did not show up so well? Those moments that, upon reflection, give rise to feelings in your body – maybe tightness in your chest, maybe queasiness in your body? Those remembered moments may be when you were not acting within your values. And when we go weeks and months of not living out our values, it can lead to chronic anxiety and depression.
This is something that I speak about with my clients quite a lot, and it’s something I’ve worked on for myself. Through values exploration (like this Psychology Today experience) I’ve learned that I have a few values that are more core than others. These are: Integrity, family, and growth. Spiraling outwards are creativity, connection, loyalty, trust, and others that, when distilled, condense down into my more core three.
One value that I believe is often overlooked and underrated is lifestyle. It is a value that, until recently, I haven’t thought much about. But in looking backwards it’s clear what an impact this value has had on the decisions I have made.
In my early 20s I was privileged enough to travel extensively. By bicycle mostly, but sometimes with backpacks or packrafts. During these experiences I learned the value of simplicity, of living out of a single pack (or, while bike touring, a few panniers). These years were revolutionary. They introduced me to what simple living can look like, and ultimately led to my buying and converting a short bus into the home I currently live in, a space that many of you may see from our telehealth sessions or in my uploaded videos.
The inside of my bus. It’s a bright place.
I’ve written about the conversion process of my bus, Crunk, but never had I connected it to my value of simple living. For me, there is something special about sitting down at the desk that doubles as a kitchen table, knowing I can heat up a kettle of tea or pet Joe or make my bed without getting up from my chair. My life is condensed down the essentials, and though I have a storage space for spillover I find that I rarely need what is not tucked away in one of the bus’s nooks. It’s led to the constant assessment of necessity, the simple question of “will it fit?”
It’s become a lifestyle, and that suits me. Because when I am living simply – when I am in my bus and deciding whether I can fit another book on the shelf or if I’ll first need to drop one off at a Little Free Library, when I am in the woods and using my backpack as a pillow, when I am bike touring and cooking a shared dinner over the same worn-out stove I’ve had since I was 20 – I am acting out my values. Integrity in simplicity, sharing space with family, and growing in my own understanding of self by the decisions I make.
I tend to sleep well in my bus. I believe it’s because it is a space that is familiar to me. It is home. And it is a constant reminder of a lifestyle that I am choosing, a lifestyle that is a part of my value system. I do recognize that my life circumstances may change and, with it, my ability to live in Crunk. If and when things shift I will be open to redefining simple living in that new context. However, it’s important for me to remember that if I stray too far away from simple living I will run the risk of creating an environment that is chronically outside of my values system – and this will have a direct affect on my mental health.
As I write about this, I think of my clients, of my friends and family, of conversations I have that point towards someone’s lifestyle not matching their values. This is an issue that is often out of our control, a delicate balance between freedom and simplicity versus paying the bills and feeding the family. I think of compromise, and what I have had to shift as I’ve transitioned from the privileged freedom of my early 20s to working as a professional. For now, the bus is my compromise. I can meet my lifestyle value and still go to work. I can lay my head down on the pillow at night and think, “Yeah. Today was a tough day. But at least I’ve got this. And that, right now, is enough.”
If you are interested in learning more about values, shoot me an email at reese@livewildcollective.com or contact me HERE.
