Hi there, and welcome back to another month of LWC Therapies - the newsletter diving into my most recent interests related to the fields of mental health counseling, mediation, and collaborative law. If you’re new here, my name is Reese Wells and I am a licensed mental health counselor and trained Mental Health Professional Neutral for Collaborative Law. I am based in Asheville, NC. You can learn more about me and my practice at reesewells.com.

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In Western North Carolina, we often talk about "the work"—the intentional effort we put into our self-growth, whether that’s our mental health, relationships, or our creative pursuits. But there is perhaps no more grueling work than the dismantling of a marriage. When a partnership ends, the immediate instinct is often defensive. We are conditioned by media and cultural tropes to view divorce as a battlefield, a winner-take-all litigation where the person with the loudest voice or the most aggressive representation "wins."

Here in Asheville, we have access to a different path. As a professional mental health neutral in collaborative law and licensed mental health counselor, I know the toll that traditional court battles take on the nervous system and the family unit. Deciding between Collaborative Law and Litigation isn't just a legal choice; it’s a choice about how you want to exist on the other side of this transition.

The Mechanics of Litigation and Collaborative Law

Litigation: The Traditional Court Path

Litigation is the adversarial process of resolving a divorce through the public court system.

The Process: You and your spouse each hire an attorney. If you cannot reach an agreement through negotiation, a judge at the Buncombe County Courthouse ultimately makes decisions regarding your assets, your debt, and your children.
Pros: It provides a definitive end-date set by the court; it offers a structured environment for cases involving high conflict, safety concerns, or a complete refusal to communicate.
Cons: It is public record; it is often the most expensive option; and perhaps most importantly, it hands over the power of your family's future to the court system.

Collaborative Law: The Team-Based Path

Collaborative Law is a private, voluntary process where both parties and their attorneys sign a "participation agreement" promising to settle the case outside of court.

The Process: Instead of working against each other, you work with a professional team. This typically includes two attorneys, a Financial Neutral (to handle the family financial matters), and a Mental Health Neutral (to manage the emotional process and co-parenting plans).
Pros: Total privacy; you maintain control over the timeline and the outcomes; it prioritizes the long-term health of the family; it is often significantly less taxing on your emotional and financial resources.
Cons: If the process breaks down and one party decides to go to court, both attorneys must withdraw, and you have to start over with new legal counsel.

Which Path Should You Choose?

It can be difficult deciding which path to choose when considering collaborative law or traditional litigation. Here are some general guidelines.

Choose Litigation if:

There is a history of domestic violence or a significant power imbalance that makes safe negotiation impossible.
One party is hiding assets or refusing to be transparent about finances.
There is an urgent need for court-ordered protections or emergency custody.

Choose Collaborative Law if:

You and your spouse share a goal of maintaining a respectful co-parenting relationship for your children.
You value privacy and don't want your personal or financial life as part of the public county record.
You want a creative solution for your assets (like a family home or a small business) that a standard court ruling might not accommodate.

Local Resources & Support

Navigating this transition requires a village. Here in Asheville, we are fortunate to have specialized professionals and community groups dedicated to these specific paths:

North Carolina Collaborative Attorney Network (NC CAN): A primary resource for finding attorneys in Western NC specifically trained in the collaborative model.
Buncombe County Clerk of Superior Court: For those navigating litigation, our downtown courthouse is the hub for filing and proceedings.
Pisgah Legal Services: Provides free civil legal aid, including family law assistance, for those who meet income requirements.
The Mediation Center: Based in Asheville, they offer community and family mediation services that can often help bridge the gap before a case escalates to litigation.
Our VOICE: If safety concerns are influencing your choice of legal path, this local resource provides crisis intervention and support for survivors.

Moving Forward

Divorce is the closing of one chapter, but the language of the next chapter is up to you. Whether you choose the structure of litigation or the creative flexibility of Collaborative Law, the goal is the same: to find a sustainable way forward that honors your integrity and your future.

If you are looking for a professional neutral to help facilitate these conversations, I invite you to reach out. In the capacity of your trained, Mental Health Professional Neutral, I can support you in exploring the path that best aligns with your needs.

So, what now?

If you are interested in this space, keep reading! And if you have people in your life who you think may be interested as well, consider sharing this post. You are welcome to subscribe to my newsletter, where these posts will be delivered to your inbox. However, Please note that this platform is not HIPPA-compliant, and therefore your presence on this newsletter (likes, shares, subscription, etc) is not confidential.

And, if you would like to work together and are ready to reach out to schedule a free initial consultation, you may do so below.

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Collaborative Law vs. Litigation: Which is Right for Your Asheville Divorce?